It’s the end of the year. You’re burnt out and now in addition to working all day (or night) there are all these parties to attend. Sometimes more than one a night. You think you don’t have to hit them all but as it turns out, that’s not exactly true; you want to keep your job. You also want to keep your other job. You can’t bail on your best friend’s gallery show. The DJ/Hollywood/club event is going to be packed with people with whom you’d like to have a job. There are family lunches and also your building is throwing a fete in the lobby bar.

At this point you realize that not only do you have to attend a party EVERY NIGHT, but also, you need a date. Or several.

Below is a handy list of things to consider when choosing your party partners.

1. Don’t take your vegetarian Plus 1 to the office party at The Pacific Dining Car.

2. Don’t take your loud-music-hating Plus 1 to Spaceland’s end-of-the-year show.

3. Don’t take your cinephile Plus 1 to the screening of a Grease singalong on a rooftop in Los Feliz.

4. Don’t take your non-skateboarding Plus 1 to the skateshop/art collective on Fairfax.

5. Do not take your struggling alcoholic Plus 1 to the open bar.

6. Don’t take your brand new boyfriend/girlfriend to your parent’s house. If you make it thru the next twelve months, there’ll be more than enough time next year.

7. Don’t take the Plus 1 you usually end up in jail with to the fancy, sit-down dinner.

8. Do not take your food-snob chef Plus 1 to an “ironic white trash holiday feast”.

9. Don’t take your conservative visiting relative Plus 1 to a show at The Edison. Or do. That might be the last you ever see of them again.

But if you really don’t want to get in a fight with your Plus 1 at the holiday party-

10. Go alone. Drink, dance, strip and wake up with a new Plus 1 in your bed. Just don’t invite them to the New Year’s Party.